Power skills | Be kind to yourself

Give yourself a break

When we’re told to ‘be kind to ourselves’, it can seem vague and might make us feel defensive. But taking it seriously could be the most important thing you do for yourself and those around you

Words Sophie Cross

Self-criticism can increase stress, anxiety and procrastination. However, self-compassion helps build resilience, motivation and emotional wellbeing. This matters deeply for students and professionals who regularly face deadlines, assessments and workplace pressures.

Being kind to yourself makes a significant difference to your mental health, studies and work life. While many of us find it easy to show compassion to friends and colleagues when they face challenges, we often treat ourselves much more harshly.

We would never tolerate being spoken to by others in the way we sometimes speak to ourselves, and it would understandably make us feel dreadful. If a friend came to us feeling down, we would listen and talk to them compassionately. We would probably give a bit of advice and we wouldn’t expect that they berate themselves. So why do we struggle not to give ourselves some grace?

Practising self-kindness

Self-kindness is not about lowering standards or making excuses, it’s about creating conditions that help you perform at your best while maintaining good mental health. People who display self-compassion often achieve more than those who are self-critical, as they are better able to learn from setbacks and stay motivated.

TOP TIPS

Six techniques for self-compassion

1

Notice negative self-talk

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2

Create your routine

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3

Take regular breaks

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4

Set realistic expectations

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5

Write down your achievements

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6

Embrace failure

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Being kind to yourself is a massive mindset shift, a new skill to develop and a habit to build, so it won’t be complete in a few days or weeks. Start small by catching one negative self-thought each day and reframing it compassionately. The most successful students and professionals are not those who never struggle but those who learn to support themselves through difficulties with patience and understanding and ask for help when needed.

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Give yourself a break

When we’re told to ‘be kind to ourselves', it can seem vague and might make us feel defensive. But taking it seriously could be the most important thing you do for yourself and those around you

Words Sophie Cross

Illustration of a woman sitting in the lotus position on a lotus flower